Last weekend I saw the movie, Joy, starring Jennifer Lawrence (who I am obsessed with, by the way). She said a line that made me want to get up, drop a mic, and walk out of the movie completely satisfied. She says at 2.2 minutes, “Listen to me, never speak on my behalf, about my business, ever again.”
Honestly, this line in the trailer is the reason I “had” to see this movie. Hearing her words made every fiber in my body feel empowered. I have been thinking about those words ever since and I think there is a pretty big reason many of us women are attracted to such statements.
Society and the Church tells women to listen, quiet down, take advice, let someone help you, let someone hold your hand, let your male pastor tell you when it’s time to fly, let your male elders tell you when you need to get right with the Lord, let your father protect you until you find a husband, let your husband take care of you and tell you what to do for the rest of your life.
“He knows best,” they say. Sometimes these messages are totally subliminal, but these are the messages girls and women are getting. We then wonder why women struggle with insecurity and a lack of self-confidence at epidemic rates.
We wonder why many women compromise their values to be taken care of by a man. We wonder why many women tend to compete with one another and spend thousands of dollars on botox, clothes, jewelry, etc. We wonder why women in the Church can’t even have a women’s group without jealousy and drama rising up, normally resulting in the whole thing falling through.
Women struggle to get on each other’s team because of patriarchy. We have very little opportunities to shine and to find purpose outside of the home, so we often fight over the very little opportunities there are, or we can find ourselves competing for the most eligible bachelor to take care of us.
Many women in the “church world” want to grow up to become a “pastor’s wife” because they have been taught since childhood that they themselves cannot become pastors (a view that does not come from God or the Bible). It comes from culture.
A grandmother named Darlene Hackemer Loretto left a comment on Zuckerberg’s post, saying she advises her granddaughters to “date the nerd in school” because “he may turn out to be a Mark Zuckerberg.”
The Facebook CEO replied with some excellent advice of his own (Source):
The truth is that in the Church women are told that they do not hold enough “god-given-authority” to become whatever they want. Yet, men in the Church are told that they can carry out any position or title they feel God is calling them too.
It literally makes me sick how many seminaries will accept women into their very expensive programs, who know darn well that those women are probably not going to be able to find ministry jobs.
Even outside of church walls women are fighting for equality. Women are asking for a chance to be faithful, to prove themselves, and to use their talents (and degrees), to help put food on their tables, and not to have to rely on a man. It is too easy to have to compromise ourselves, what we want, and what we need, when we have to rely on a man financially and even emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually.
Often, women who are successful both inside and outside of the Church are self-made. They got tired of holding a man’s hand or asking everyone for permission. They got tired of scrubbing floors, being a children’s minister, and being back up singers (not that there is anything wrong with any of those things). They decided to take a risk, make some serious sacrifices and go out on their own.
Women were not made to play secondary roles to men. Let me say that again. We were not made to play secondary roles to men. We are not all assistants to men. We were born to shine, we are smart, we are strong, and we can manage our own lives, ministries and businesses.
Be careful who you let direct your life or speak into your work. The reason your life and work is successful is because of you, not because of any man (or woman for that matter). It is because of who God made you and what you have to offer this world. I am not saying to become a diva and never listen to anyone. We all have blindspots and need to stay humble, but believe in yourself and know that only YOU are in charge of your life, ministry, and business.
And if you feel like busting a move after reading this post (as I felt like doing after writing it), Gwen Stefani is a good place to start.
Help Jory Micah Break The Glass Steeple by Following Her Blog
Insert Your Email to the Right or Below