Fear of Commitment


When you live with migraines, it is easy to develop a fear of commitment. If you are a person who believes in keeping your word, it can be very stressful making plans when you get sick often. There is much fear in the thought of people not understanding if you have to cancel. What if they think I am a flaky person? What if they stop asking me to hang out because they can’t count on me? Those are normal questions, but can quickly lead to despair if the doubts become so intense that you stop making plans with people.

If we stop making plans with people, we cannot develop our relationships with them. We end up staying home by ourselves even on our good days for fear of disappointing others. Since my migraines are so chronic, I struggle with this often, but I have found that my headaches are better when I have lots of fun and productive plans. Staying home and laying around all day seems to only make matters worse. At the end of the day, if friends get upset with you when you have to cancel due to health problems, they are not true friends and it would be better to do life without them.

People who are chronically ill must fight the urge to isolate themselves on a daily basis. Isolation is typically not desirable, but it is easier and when you are sick a lot, easy is very appealing. But, isolation quickly leads to anxiety and depression. Sometimes this is easier said than done; particularly when you are going through a very rough season, but giving up on relationships will only make you sicker. We must push through our tendency to isolate ourselves and spend time with people on a continuous basis. Even when relationships feel like work, they are worth it to keep your mind and heart sound.

It is OK to be sick. It is Ok.

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  • Jory, I just tonight started to read this and 2 years ago I was diagnosed with a rare brain disease that there is no cure for. Originally they thought it was migraines but when they realized how debilitating the headaches were and that they never went away they realized it was much worse. Bit sometimes we get down for having to cancel plans or whatever the situation and sometimes people don’t understand but to hear you say its ok to be sick was just a sentence I needed to hear! So thank you!

    • Cassie – It blesses my heart so much that you were encouraged by my words. Constant pain is so devastating and to find purpose in it somehow brings me so much joy! It is hard for others to understand unless they have been through it. Saying a prayer for you today my friend! xoxo

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