Give Women their Authority Back!

When we give away our authority, we lose personal identity, and when we lose personal identity, we lose the very person God created us to be.


Women so badly want to be loved. It is often our weakness and makes us vulnerable to not-so-great men. It can makes us too needy. Love comes very natural to women and we greatly desire love in return. Too often, we will lay down our authority if it means we will be loved well. But, a man who loves well would never demand that we lay down our authority.

Complementarianism, which is basically “soft patriarchy,” promises women that if they will lay down their authority they will be treated with great love. However, I would argue that any form of inequality is not loving at all. Complementarianism is the most arrogant docrine I have ever known. It stripts women of their God-given power by misinterpreting and manipulating the Bible to fit a man-made agenda.

I once had a complementarian woman tell me that Christians were not supposed to have confidence in themselves, but in Christ alone. I would say that Christians should be the most self-confident people to walk the earth because they have Christ going before them, walking behind them, and living inside of them. If God is our parent and He believes in us, why would we not hold our heads high?

I am quite sick of the complementarian agenda. I am tired of hearing men and women alike justify hierarchy in the home and church. Does it make me angry? Heck yes it makes me angry! When we rob our girls and women of their power, we rob them of their passions, purposes, and even their personalities. How can we live with this?

I am completely aware that some complementarian women are quite happy in their situations, but this is because they are not actually complementarians in practice. Yes, they say that their husband is the head of the home, but in reality, their power is still quite intact and they know exactly how to get their way when they want it.

If we are honest, most wives DO have the final say when they truly care about the circumstance at hand. Their marriages are working because they are actually in egalitarian marriages, but complementarianism is getting the credit because they are saying that this is what they beleive.

Not only is this far from authentic, it is doing a severe injustice towards our girls. Many Christians are teaching one thing, but living another way in functionality.

I am terrified for the young lady who will actually take this teaching to heart, give up her God-given authority to a self-centred man, slowly lose her personal identity, and wakes up one day to discover that she has not accomplished what she was born to accomplish.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom (2 Corinthians 3:17). Jesus came to bring gender equality (Gal. 3:28) and break the chains of the oppressed (Luke 4:18). How long will we allow patriarchy and complementarian theology to rule over the hearts and minds of our sons and daughters? When will we shake off the chains and expose the lies?

When a bride’s power is suppressed, she will not walk in the beauty and dignity that she was made to walk in and is there anything more attractive to a good man than a self-confident woman who does her own thing? We were born to challenge our men, not to do everything they don’t want to do. Let me say that again.

We were born to challenge our men, not to do everything they don’t want to do!

Men and women are meant to walk beside each other, laugh, play, and even argue a bit. There is no such thing as a “better half” or a more “authoritative half.” We are both equally made in the image of God and together we complete the WHOLE image of God.

Will you fight dear sisters and brothers? Will you help girls and women regain their power, identities, purposes, passions, and personalities? Will you walk away from complementarian churches? Will you stop giving money to support these churches? If you are one of the very few people who is respected in a complementarian church will you stay and speak up?

Will you be honest about how damaging this theology actually is when literally applied? Will you stop calling yourself “complementarian” if you are not? Will you sacrifice for the daughters of God? Will you write about it? Speak about? Preach about it? Teach about it? What will you do to stop this agenda and help end patriarchy in the Church for good?

Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you. -Luke 10:19

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  • Jory,

    How did you become educated on this issue and passionate about this issue? Have you always been egalitarian or was it a process to move from complitarian to egalitarian?

    Thanks, Ali

  • Jory Micah,

    I am like a little chick in an egg. I have lived in this egg my entire Christian experience so I don’t even know that I am in the egg. I looked up and saw a tiny crack of light above me. The shell has a crack but the membrane is still intact so the light is very opaque but it is there and has made me realize that I am in the egg. It is not just church teaching but life teaching that has placed me here. I’m a little afraid of breaking out of my egg and what that means for those around me, but maybe I can soon be free to live the life God gave me. Thank you for your teachings., Love, the little chick.

    • Kathy – this is perhaps the most honest and powerful comment I have ever got on this blog! I had a prophetic dream very similar to this analogy that I am writing a book about. I believe you WILL break free!!! Love you! Xo

  • Hi Jory! People who are new to the complementarian/egalitarian discussion may consider you radical or over zealous, maybe even a little obsessed about this. Many complementarians may be dismissive of your words, as they will almost certainly view you as a disorderly woman with a deep desire to usurp authority. I feel your passion, and I am seeing what you are seeing. My prayer is that even for those who disagree with you, they will at least look at the EFFECTS of comp. theology on the lives of women and at least be creative in the way women are able to use their gifts and talents and “allow” (such a sad word) women to be their true selves.

    • Leah, I am zealous and perhaps even slightly obsessed and I feel Jesus is obsessed with his daughters being free too! I think complementarianism is satanic, as it oppresses God’s daughters and makes them live under the curse of patriarchy that Jesus died to set is free from. No one ever got anything accomplished without being zealous and obsessed. I see where you are coming from, but I am not trying to persuade zealous complemenrarians because they don’t respect by voice anyways. I see myself more as someone helping women who are oppressed and want out. 🙂

      • Amen! We are in agreement. I still wish, however, that there could be a meaningful discussion between egalitarians and zealous complementarians, in which perspectives could be broadened maybe even changed. Blessings to you Jory!

    • Leah, I am about to release a more complementarian friendly video on YouTube. It is much less aggressive than my normal. I’m hoping it catches some complementarian women’s hearts! 🙂 thank you for your honest input! I never want pride to get in the way of our mission. You should always feel free to approach me with any thoughts! 🙂

  • Amen!

    After two summers at a Christian family camp that continually taught complementarianism, I said, “Enough is enough!”, and we didn’t go back this summer.

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